*This post is a part of a series written by pre-publication readers of “Clean Home, Messy Heart: Promises of Renewal, Hope, and Change for Overwhelmed Moms”.
My name is Salina, and I am a mother of four kids. I am a Pastoral Assistant and Church Secretary for a multi-campus church, I work as an administrator for a Christian Adoption agency, and I am a full-time student working towards a degree in Social Work.
On Embracing Differences and Uniqueness
One of the biggest struggles I have faced in motherhood is recognizing that, while my children each may share some of my characteristics, they are very much their own individuals. They see the world through their own reality and embrace it in their own way. This means that they are not going to tackle issues the same way as I would. My kids are each complete individuals, fearfully and wonderfully made in their own unique way. They love differently, fight differently, seek justice differently, and have each their own definition of what joy and passion for life are.
On Inconvenient Love
My absolute favorite line in Clean Home, Messy Heart is in chapter one: ”
His gentle conviction about my complaint caused me to wonder how many times I had asked for relief from trouble, when all I wanted was relief from inconvenience. I thought about how quickly I was inclined to pray “Lord, deliver me from this problem,” when I really meant, “Lord, I don’t want to love the way you ask me to.”
There are times when the differences in our perceptions and personalities create a clash. While sometimes this is beautiful and easily navigated, there are other times when it is so intense and all-consuming, that it’s hard to see the clash for what it really is…an inconvenience. This struggle leads to a beautiful refining and meshing of our souls, in a way that asks each of us to love wholly, not just conveniently. God has shown me that while one child needs to be held when she is upset, another needs her space. While one child needs stern reminders to complete tasks, another is diligent to the extreme and needs me to be patient with his incessant need to complete things a certain way.
On Finding Grace Through Diversity
The beauty of God’s grace is that he gives it to all of us freely—even to me, in my biggest moments of sin. He has opened my eyes to the beauty of the diversity in our home. Each person, with their own quirks and their own journeys. He has shown me how to walk with each of my children in their personal journey of life and faith. But best of all, he has shown us that even in our worst moments of sin and despair, when we are getting it all wrong and are tripping over our own selfish ways, he is there to lift us up, dust us off, and gently lead us to the right path.